Today is Elianna's 1st birthday. I can hardly believe that the time has gone by this fast, and I often wish there was a pause button on my girls. I could just slow time down and hold them close forever. Then I think about Who gave them to me and what plans their Heavenly Father has for them and I can then relax knowing that He has them in His great big capable hands. I know that I can't keep them small forever because they wouldn't be able to fulfill everything that God designed for them.
I often think about how much I want my girls to be happy and find what they want and were designed to do in this life, but when I do I know I am only scratching the surface of what Abba (papa) wants for them. I love them so much that it sometimes hurts. They are a part of me. I see myself in my girls and different things they do remind me of myself. Sometimes that is a good thing and then there are other times when I am ashamed and wish they hadn't picked up some of my bad habits. They say things a lot that sound just like me and it is funny to hear a small child parroting me especially when they aren't 100% sure of what it means, but just knowing that Momma said it and said it was true.....
As time goes by I realize more and more how the parallels between us and our children and us and God are so close. I am convinced that He designed it that way. I know that He wanted to give us a glimpse of what it is like to love someone so much that you would die for them, yet His love is much greater then even a Momma's. Sometimes I wonder how that could be.....how could a love so great exist? He is an awesome God and His love is unfathomable!
We all have certain gifts and talents that come from God. I mean, if you think about it, we are all like a little extension of the great talent He is. Music, art, writing, speaking, gardening, photography, and many more that I could name. So like seeing yourself in your kids, our Father sees Himself in us which is just amazing to me.
We can also speak like He does and say the things He does because we know He is our Father and what he says is true. We may not always understand it or know why it's true, but if He said it then it is so. Many times when I was young I would ask "Why?" when told to do something or that we couldn't do something. I remember my Dad saying, "Because I said so", or "Because, that's why". Now that I am older, I know that he couldn't always explain "why" to me. I was too young to understand what his adult mind already knew. I didn't always like his answer, but now I know there are things that just have to be done "because". I do try to explain things to my girls in their terms if I can, but there are times when I just have to tell them "because" like my Dad did. So many times that is how I feel with God. I ask "Why?", when things happen that I don't understand or that I wish wouldn't be a certain way. God is not required to answer or "why's?". We are to trust Him and lean on His love for us knowing that He will take care of us as he says in His Word......
So now I have rambled and rambled, but it was just all stuff in my spirit and I wanted to put it out here....I hope it made some sense and that you can see my heart in it.
